What a blessing

Once a month our Childrens Ministry Leader invites parents to stay and participate in their children's Sunday School time. Today she dedicated the hour to celebrating God's ministry to the orphan. She invited those of us who have adopted or are foster care parents to share our testimonies. To share how God moved our hearts to adopt or provide foster care - to share how He lead us to our child(ren) - and to share our biggest blessing through the experience.

I know my story, so it wasn't difficult to share specifics about how we came to adopt and how our process went. But gosh, when she asked me to share my biggest blessing - well that is tough. We've received so many through our adoption of Ana, that I don't know where to begin! I went to bed not knowing exactly what I was going to say. I slept restlessly and at 6:30 this morning God woke me with words!

Biggest Blessing

God’s love for us is so deep. He doesn’t care who we’ve been, what we’ve done, or where we came from. The only thing he cares about is the condition of our heart. He sees our desperate need for a Father. Someone to provide for us, to guide our direction, to listen to us, to simply love and accept us. God has given me the blessing of 4 beautiful children – 3 that I birthed and 1 that I traveled across the world for – and it doesn’t matter how my children came to be mine – they are mine – they are mine to love.

MY biggest blessing – well that would be when Ana sings along to her favorite CD and realizes that song is about her! Well, it’s really about all of us – but to a 4 yr old everything is about her!

The song goes -

“Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

And Ana says in excitement – doesn’t matter what color we are, Jesus loves everybody!!

I have sung that song for years, but have never REALLY put it into context until now. I have only seen things through my white American eyes. Well, now I see things through different colors. And that is a blessing in itself.

I'm not sure anyone understood my words, because of course I cried through the whole thing! Ugh! But I felt God's presence and it was amazing to listen to everyone's story! All the stories were different in how they came to adoption, yet we all knew that God guided us to it and through it. That He chose our children for us - that He knew from the very beginning that Ana would be a part of our family - that she would be our daughter.

We are so excited about what God is doing in our church. We believe He is stirring the hearts of people - moving them to have a heart for the orphan - molding their hearts to be more like His. And shouldn't that be our goal? To be more like Him?

I fall short in so many ways. But He knows my heart. And I am ever so thankful that He chose me to be His child! And as a child of God, I want to please Him - I want to be closer to Him - and I want Him to say to me, Well Done.

Honesty is the best policy...right??

So Ana and I went out for lunch after preschool today. I noticed Ana took this HUGE bite of her grilled cheese and could barely keep it in her mouth while she TRIED to chew it. I suggested she take smaller bites. After she swallowed some of it down, she told me big bites were ok because she had a big mouth. I couldn't help but laugh and for as much as she talks, I couldn't disagree with her. So we continued to eat and as I took a bite of my salad, Ana stops eating and says to me - Mom, you have a big mouth too.

Gotta LOVE those car rides

Our family's time in the car together can either be categorized as quality time or frustration time. Yesterday the girls and I were on our way to Tina's dance class and about 2 minutes away from home the "conversation" started between the girls.
Ana: Tina, is Erin in your dance class?
Ana: Is Erin's sister in your dance class too?
Tina: Ana, be quiet. I don't want to talk.
Ana: I'm just asking you a question.
Tina: Mom, tell her to be quiet!
Me: Ana, Tina doesn't care to talk right now.
Ana: Mom, I am wondering if Erin is in dance.
Tina: Ana! Really! Stop talking!!
silence...for a moment...
Ana: I can't stop talking.
Tina: UGH! Sigh.

On the way home from dance, Tina once again was still not in the mood for her little sister.
Tina: Mom, Ana keeps staring at me.
I look in my rear-view mirror. Sure enough Ana is purposely staring at Tina.
Me: Ana, please stop looking at Tina.
Tina: She is still looking at me!
I take another look in my mirror. Yep, still looking at her sister.
Me: Ana, please just look at the TV.
I look in my mirror to make sure she is doing what I say. With exaggerated big wide eyes she turns her eyes to the TV. I smile. Tina again gives a big sigh.

Yesterday was NOT categorized as "quality time" in the car with my kids. My first mistake - having them sit next to each other - DUH!

Usually, the quality time happens when I am alone with one of my kids. And I suppose I should define quality time for you. Quality time in the car is all about the conversation I am blessed to have with one of the kids. The car is great for talking with my kids because we're strapped in our seats and the only thing to do is talk with each other. It's where I get the most information out of them :o)

So the other day Ana starts the conversation by telling me...
Ana: I am brown.
Me: Who says you're brown? Or how do you know you are brown?
Ana: Well, John at my preschool is black.
Ana: He is darker then me.
Ana: So I am brown.
Me: Well, I guess that makes sense.
Me: What color am I?
Ana: Yellow.

Ana has been very talkative about her skin color lately. The other day we were listening to a kids CD of bible songs. She loves to sing along with it and I love listening to her! So we are listening and singing along and all of a sudden Ana says...
Ana: Mom, I am a child of God!!
Me: I know it! So am I!
Then came the part - "red, yellow, black, or white - we are precious in his sight - Jesus loves the little children of the world"
And Ana says: Yep, it doesn't matter what color you are! God loves us all!
Me: You know it!
Brought tears to my eyes. I hope she will always remember that song and know that Jesus loves her and that she will always, always feel comfortable in her skin. Her beautiful brown skin!